How to Love a Female Athlete

Excerpted from the As Good As Gold, ESPN BOOKS
By Kathryn Bertine

How to Love a Female Athlete

When we're sweaty and covered in
grime, tell us we're hot.
When we're clean and smell nice, tell us we're hot.
We spend a lot of time in gym clothes, so if we take
the time to put on clothing without Lycra or
elastic or chamois, notice. And tell us we're hot.
If we prance around the house bellowing, "Check it
out, I put on makeup today!" tell us we're hot.
If we experience a moment of weakness and stare
at the mirror wondering if our muscles look
too bulky, tell us we're crazy. And hot.
When we're lying on the couch in a state of
disheveled athleticoma, tell us we're hot.
When we train together, tell us we're hot.
When we beat you in a race, tell us we're
hot. Or at least mumble it.
When we win, when we lose, and when we absolutely
tank, tell us we're hot, hotter, and hottest because
effort is the hottest-est damn thing out there.
When we question ourselves, tell us not to.
When we doubt our ability, tell us you don't.
When we wonder if we can do it, tell us we will.
Tell us you're proud, tell us you believe,
tell us you're amazed.
When we break down, just hug us and let us whimper
for a while and let us wipe our nose on your shirt.
Don't tell us we're hot, we won't believe you on
this one. But you can think it if you want to.
Say these things to a female athlete, and we will
love you.
Say these things and mean them, and
we will give you lots of sex.